separate
BY MOSHE KATZ 
CEO
ISRAELI KRAV INTERNATIONAL

December 15, 2024, Israel

"Now Lot, who was traveling with Abram, also had flocks and herds and tents. But the land was unable to support both of them while they stayed together, for they had so many possessions (the cattle was abundant and the land insufficient) that they were unable to coexist.  And there was discord, strife, between the herdsmen of Abram and the herdsmen of Lot. At that time the Canaanites and the Perizzites were also living in the land.

So Abram said to Lot, “Please let there be no contention between you and me, or between your herdsmen and my herdsmen. After all, we are brothers.  Is not the whole land before you? Now separate yourself from me. If you go to the left, I will go to the right; if you go to the right, I will go to the left.”  (Genesis 13, 5-9)

So Lot chose for himself the whole plain of the Jordan and set out toward the east. The two men parted company (verse 11)

Then the king of Sodom, the king of Gomorrah, the king of Admah, the king of Zeboyim and the king of Bela (that is, Zoar) marched out and drew up their battle lines in the Valley of Siddim 9 against Kedorlaomer king of Elam, Tidal king of Goyim, Amraphel king of Shinar and Arioch king of Ellasar—four kings against five. 10 Now the Valley of Siddim was full of tar pits, and when the kings of Sodom and Gomorrah fled, some of the men fell into them and the rest fled to the hills. 11 The four kings seized all the goods of Sodom and Gomorrah and all their food; then they went away. 12 They also carried off Abram’s nephew Lot and his possessions, since he was living in Sodom.

A man who had escaped came and reported this to Abram the Hebrew. Now Abram was living near the great trees of Mamre the Amorite, a brother of Eshkol and Aner, all of whom were allied with Abram. 14 When Abram heard that his relative had been taken captive, he called out the 318 trained men born in his household and went in pursuit as far as Dan. 15 During the night Abram divided his men to attack them and he routed them, pursuing them as far as Hobah, north of Damascus. 16 He recovered all the goods and brought back his relative Lot and his possessions, together with the women and the other people.

Genesis 14, 8-16)

Separation is sad, but sometimes necessary. Sometimes it is time to part, to say goodbye, to say we are better off apart, if you turn to the right, I will turn to the left, take your choice, you can choose first, but it is time to separate. And yet we see that in the very next chapter Abram (later Abraham) risks his life to save not only his nephew Lot but also all of his property.

Let us see what we can learn from this today, for our own lives.

According to our sources Abram, later called Abraham, lived close to 4,000 years ago. He was born in a place called Ur, whose location is still disputed about Biblical scholars, either in southern Iraq or in Turkey. He made the long journey to Canaan, now Israel, and lived here among the local population. As the text above points out the Canaanites and the Perizzites lived in the land, they were the majority.

Abram and his nephew Lot were blessed with a great deal of cattle and needed large areas to roam. They also had to be aware of their surroundings. According to the Biblical commentators, Abram had strict rules for his herdsmen to avoid trespassing on the land of the Canaanites and the Perizzites, but Lot was not so careful. This troubled Abram, and disputes arose between the men of Abram and the men of Lot. Abram was very concerned, as they were both foreigners in this land that they would be seen by the locals as troublesome people, quarrelsome people. This is not a good image to have. If you are an immigrant, you must always be on your best behavior. Otherwise, people will look at you and say, you see those types, they are all problematic. On the El Al Israeli airline planes, there is a small message in Hebrew, written on the plane near the entry door, that reads...Remember, when you are abroad, you are an ambassador, a representative of Israel. In other words, if we behave badly, it will be seen, you see those Israelis! They are all problematic. Abram was concerned about this very point. Lot was not. This led to conflict. 

There are times in life when conflict cannot be resolved. Abraham was known as a strong man, and a man of peace, value and integrity, but he could not resolve this conflict, so ...if you turn right, I will turn left. So Lot chose for himself the whole plain of the Jordan and set out toward the east. The two men parted company. Sadly, there are times to part company, for the sake of peace. 

I see another message here, when Abram says, for we are men who are brothers, it is even more so, because we are family we should not fight. If we cannot avoid the fighting, better to separate, to each go his own way. We remain at peace, but separate. For we are brothers, and brothers should not fight. 

We deal with reality, just as in Krav Maga we deal with reality, not fantasy, not movie type acrobatic self-defense moves, we live in the real world, and in the real world there is conflict. The Bible does not ignore conflict, it understands it, and this is a lesson for us. You will not be able to solve every conflict with words. You go to the right and I will go to the left.

But what do we see in the very next section? We see that when Lot is in trouble, Uncle Abe is there to come to the rescue. Abram gathers his men, 318 in number, all trained personally by him in the art of warfare, for that is what is required in this neighborhood, and he goes out to rescue Lot. He succeeds and triumphs. For me the message is "family is family", we are there for each other in good times and bad. We may quarrel but that does not mean we do not care about each other. In times of need we are there for each other. 

My dear father, Rabbi Paul M. Katz of blessed memory, always stressed that the Bible is not for saints, and that no man is perfect. All men err, all men miss the target sometimes. We are not doomed to sin, but we are not perfect by nature. That is the struggle of life, to keep improving. Abraham was not perfect, none of the Biblical characters were perfect, for if they were, as Dad would say, then we would have no use for the Bible, we would have no use for its lessons. The Bible is reality, real friends have disagreements, real people have issues. Real families have problems and discord. Life is not Ozzy and Harriet or "Father Knows Best" (TV shows from the early years, for those that don't get the reference, when only perfect families were featured on television). 

We can learn from the Bible precisely because the characters are not perfect, they have egos, emotions, hurt feelings, jealousies, bad days. And so do we. In the Hebrew language there is no word similar to "sin" in English, there is "missed the target", there are times in life when we miss the target, so we try again. 

We read this portion of the Torah some time ago, but that phrase was percolating in my mind, Let us separate for we are men who are brothers, it struck me in the heart, I felt sad. Why can't we work things out? Let's talk about this, we will find a solution, this is heartbreaking. It stayed in my heart for weeks, for we are men who are brothers...

but sometimes that is how life is, you separate and move forward, Jacob and Esau separated, Abram and Lot, Isaac and Yishmael, sometimes there is no other solution but to move on. Let us not have a conflict, choose first, if you go to the right, I will go to the left. 

This is life.

We live the Bible, and a day will come when Jacob will fully love Leah, and when Uncle and Nephew will reunite, and Jacob and Esau will be at peace, and when the land shall know no more war, and each man shall sit under his vineyard and not be afraid. And man shall not lift up a sword against his brother, 

but until then, we train...

MosheLA2023

Moshe Katz, training continuously for nearly 4 decades, 7th dan Black Belt, Israeli Krav Maga. Certified by Wingate Institute. Member Black Belt hall of fame, USA and Europe.

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